Sunday, April 20, 2008

Dear State of Minnesota

I know that this letter comes a bit early in the morning for you, as you are probably hungover after last night’s loss to the Avalanche. It’s okay, I’m a bit headachy too. Yelling from the top row of the Pepsi Center will do that. So please accept my apologies if I’m coming across as a bit crass at this early hour.

I understand that you felt that this year’s version of the Wild were the team that would go deep into the playoffs. Everyone up north seemed so excited! There was Gabby setting a team record for goals and points. Nick Backstrom and the defense were rock solid. And the team finally had enough muscle to beat up the more physical teams in the league.

I’ll tell you what. It was certainly one of the more physical series’ I’ve seen in a long time, and today I’m sure everyone on both teams is pretty sore. Especially Jose Theodore who once again saw a ton of shots. I bet you are pretty angry at Jose today, huh? I mean, where did he come from? He was supposed to be crappy.

I’m not sure if I can totally answer that question myself. I guess sometimes, some players turn it on for the playoffs. For example, Jose Theodore and Joe Sakic- on. Marian Gaborik and Pavol Demitra-off. It’s got to be frustrating when your star players get shut down by what you and many others felt was an inferior Avalanche hockey team. I mean come on, right!

I’m sure you are saying to yourself things like “the people of Colorado don’t deserve this!” and “Seriously. They don’t! Most of them are fair weather fans, with the only people who really pay attention coming in the form of insane University of Denver students!”

I get it. I know. You have a tough time with winning at sports. The Vikings have lost four Superbowls. Carl Polhad is the anti-Christ. Kevin McHale is an idiot and couldn’t build a team around Kevin Garnett. And now the Wild can’t even beat an old, lesser conditioned team from Colorado in the first round. I swear, I feel your pain. Outside of Philadelphia I’m not sure if there is a place that has a worse time winning at sports.

At least the summer softball leagues are starting up soon…right?

And there are many festivals to look forward too once the weather gets warmer.

Shoot, you even have the Republican convention this year…even though I’m pretty sure there are only about seven people there who are actually Republican. It’s unusual, I know. I think the Republicans might be trying to send some kind of message like they support the American working man or something. It’s pretty silly. I know. I’m just trying to make jokes to make you feel better.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t get too down. There are always things to look forward to, even after the Wild lost a great series to the Avs 4-2. For example, you could always look at moving to Colorado. Many of your people have already done that and for the most part I’ve found them to be pleasant and witty, and they seem to like it here too. It’s something to think about. I have some friends you can stay with to make the transition easier. They are from somewhere around Edina. Nice folks.

Other than that, just try and keep your head up and realize that there is always next year. And while you’re at it, you might want to look at making a coaching change for the Wild. Jacques Lemaire seems nice and all, but he just doesn’t coach the type of game that will win the State of Hockey it’s first Stanley Cup.

Again, it’s something to think about.

Hang in there buddy!

The State of Colorado

No comments: