Monday, November 29, 2010

The Break Up

I can't hate you, Broncos; I've loved you for too long. But I've just been in denial, I guess.

Sure, I'm not the same as I was when we met. Back then I was young and exuberant. I used to wear orange as much as I could, and I always had faith that you would do the right thing.

People picked on me in school all the time for liking you, but even when the Simpsons made fun of you we took it in stride. You were lovable.

There was John, Sammy, Karl, Rulon, the Amigos, Steve and Dennis, and Terrell, Eddie Mac and Mobley, and Tyrone. Who could forget Tyrone?!

We went to the playoffs all the time. It was great! But that was then. Things have changed, and I don't know if it is because I changed, or what? It's just that, nothing seems to work anymore.

You don't have any direction. You mope around in your bathrobe and don't seem to do anything to improve. These days you are out at all hours of the night, getting into fights and losing. That's it...it's the losing. There's just so much of it and it keeps getting worse! I mean, St. Louis?!

I think you need to get help, but I'm not sure where to start. You could stop hanging out with Josh, but I'm not sure if that would even matter.

I...I just think it would be okay if we saw other people for a while. At least until the time comes that you are ready to be in a committed relationship.

It may not be the right time to say this, but I've been seeing someone else for some time. No, it isn't another football team. It's the Avalanche. They just, I dunno, seem to understand how to win. They're motivated. Even when they were terrible there was always hope that they would find way to get better, and look at them now! They're young and vibrant. They're exciting. The sky is the limit! Don't act like you didn't cheat too. Don't even go there!

I dunno...they're everything that you used to be.

There, I said it. Just...stop...stop crying. This isn't easy for me either.

Look, you know my number. Give me a call sometime, when you're ready.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Problem with Peter Mueller

Lo, the long offseason is drawing to a close, and if you are like me you enjoyed a summer full of activities and "getting important things done." Like working on your next fantasy hockey draft, and impatiently anticipating the hockey season. For most hockey fans in this age of the 24-hour news cycle this summer meant reading articles and watching video on how the Devils tried to skirt the intent of the NHL's Collective Bargaining Agreement by signing Ilya Kovalchuk to a 36-year contract at the huggable salary cap compatible price of $10,000 a season. (Okay maybe it wasn't that bad, but it was close).

Since there was nothing else hockey related to read about, and if you, like me managed to somehow pay attention to the cyclone of idiocy surrounding the events, the Kovalchuk melee ended up being an eduction not on how a room full of lawyers and agents can and will find loopholes in anything if it means being able to chalk up billable hours, but in how desperate some teams will be when it comes to signing players with "generational talent."

There is little doubt that Kovalchuk is the kind of player who can turn a team into playoff threat (at least on the offensive end of the ice) so New Jersey's desire to lock him down for the rest of his career was understandable.

But if you are an Avalanche fan like myself the events of the summer left you scratching your head at the inactivity in Denver when at very least tossing some kind of offer in the direction of Kovalchuk's agent would have signaled that the home team was interested in improving sooner rather than later. For the Avalanche organization to not even bat a collective eye in the direction of Kovalchuk, considering the team's history of trading for and signing greatness, the summer, at least for me, proved to be extremely frustrating.

The frustration stems from the fact that the Avalanche seemed intent on relying on Peter Mueller as a top six forward, even though long before he was traded to Denver for Wojtek Wolski his concussion problems were apparent. It had long been my belief that Mueller's scoring/doghouse issues in Phoenix weren't necessarily because of fireworks between he and coach Dave Tippett. I believed that the former first rounder's problems stemmed from his first concussion which prompted him to play passively, thus resulting in lower confidence and lower production.

Mueller did get back on track after the trade to the Avalanche and looked to be a steal, but Rob Blake made sure that Mueller would not be a factor for the Avalanche by dealing out his second concussion late last season.

For Mueller it was his second major concussion in little more than a year, and for me it was when the red flag went up on his career. Peter Mueller was incredibly close to encroaching upon "Eric Lindros territory" in the concussion department.

Going into camp the Avalanche were a few million dollars under the salary floor of $40.8 million, but more or less remedied that situation by signing Chris Stewart and Mueller. Mueller specifically signed for two years at two million per.

I had no problem with signing Mueller for relatively cheap over such a short span because in my mind Mueller was walking a fine line between success and disaster, and a contract with a longer term would have been foolish. Unfortunately disaster struck and Mueller was dealt his third concussion during the first game of the preseason.

Much of the argument and speculation seems to be circling around why Mueller wasn't wearing a newer, safer helmet when he got his third concussion, which is completely valid. How a player with a known history of concussion problems was allowed to set foot on the ice without the latest in protective equipment is most certainly irresponsible.

Still, the bigger question is why a team that is around $17 million under the salary cap would rest on the notion of Peter Mueller becoming a dependable top line wing without having some kind of backup plan.

This is where the Avalanche may have missed the opportunity of the decade.

The reconstruction of the Avalanche has been impressive. Recent years have brought a wealth of young talent, with the success of last season showing that the best is yet to come. But the Avalanche would have been well served if they would have tried to sign Kovalchuk, hefty contract or not. If they had landed him, the Avalanche would have solidified the soft spot on their offense (left wing) with a superstar, while Mueller continued to play on the second line with phenom Matt Duchene. If not, the Avalanche would have at least given the impression to their fans that they weren't just developing the team, they were making the leap back to the level of contenders, which would have helped fill otherwise empty seats at the Pepsi Center.

While I'm unable to live in the heads of the Avalanche brass, it is probably safe to assume that Kovalchuk was considered, but then the decision was made to hoard cap space in order to sign the talent they do have when the time comes, while biding their time in the free agency market.

Such a strategy seems to be working for the team in a league where contenders such as Chicago have had to shed massive amounts of payroll just to keep their cores intact. In that case what the Avalanche are doing should pay off, but the Mueller injury set the offense back if not by magnitudes, at least in the area of left wing, which is now going to be even more of a problem than it was last season. This is where taking a risk on landing Kovalchuk, even at a high salary, would have been a smart move.

Recent reports have stated that Matt Duchene will start the season playing the wing with the injury prone David Jones centering he and Milan Hejduk. At first and second glance I cannot imagine that this is the situation Avalanche had in mind. Should such a situation continue (from the looks of it Mueller isn't coming back anytime soon), Duchene's development into a top flight centerman could be hampered.

For an organization on the rise, success on offense this season may come down to this summer when the Avalanche took a risk on the wrong player. If so, the ripple effect of Mueller's absence will be something cannot be ignored.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Sweet, Sweet Sanity

Dear Coach Sacco,

After observing yesterday's bloodbath in San Jose I've decided to do what I can to help the Avalanche defeat the Sharks. No, I'm not offering up my services as a goaltender, the Avs are doing fine in that area. Besides, I would end up allowing 15 goals and would probably blow out my back and start swinging my stick at any Sharks player within ten feet of the parking lot.

Instead I've come up with a list of things that you can do to give the Avalanche the edge they need to defeat the #1 seed.

1. Use speed. No, I don't mean utilizing the speed of the Avalanche forwards. I mean literally give them speed. Trucker speed, and lots of it. They look tired. Some people may frown upon the use of illegal substances by NHL players, but if the report that recently came out in Sports Illustrated is true, the Capitals are full of something, and it isn't "spirit."

2. Use sugar. I know what you are thinking here, "if I give sugar to Duchene and O'Reilly they'll be bouncing off the walls like they're back in romper room." I don't mean using sugar like that. I think you should consider putting it in the gas tanks of every San Jose player so that they have trouble making it to the games. Your first target should be the Trans AM that I imagine Joe Pavelski owning. Don't worry about putting any in Joe Thornton's tank. He hasn't made it to any games yet.

3. Hire Bob Probert. I'm sure Bob isn't up to anything anyways, and he would be a nice counter to The Human Rectangle, Doug Murray. Just give him a cue ball in a sock, and let him roam free. He could also provide you with the "speed" I mentioned in suggestion #1. Wink-wink.

4. Fix the refs. This should be seriously considered. The Sharks have been given over twice as many power plays by the officials so far and it is obvious San Jose sent a little grease in their direction. Find out what they paid and outbid them. I'm sick of watching the Avalanche go on the penalty kill in the first minute of every game.

5. Summon the Dark Lord. I realize you are probably a God fearing man, but if Satan is anything like the axe wielding Satan in Guitar Hero then he at very least will rock out the locker room and provide some entertainment. The boys don't appear to be having any fun anymore. They have burned up all the "house money" they have been playing with, and kind of look like they want to go home. Even Craig Anderson is frustrated, and he's more easy going than a stoned Beach Boy.

6. Bikini girls.

7. Stop allowing San Jose to walk into your zone. Okay this is nuts. NUTS! But just listen for a minute. I'm not sure if you are trying to run the trap or not. After watching Craig Anderson get pelted this season I'm not sure if sure if you are running any sort of defensive system at all. But what I do know is that your team has nothing to lose, and it might behoove them to prevent San Jose from crossing the blue line untouched. I know. It's crazy, but give it a try. Also, tell the guys to shoot the puck at the net, and not at the corners, or the boards, or the glass, or the fans. In the last three days Dan Boyle has put more shots in on Evgeni Nabokov than the Avalanche have.

That's all I have for now. Please seriously consider my suggestions.

I swear I'm not crazy!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Untouchables

Going into yesterday's game against San Jose I was apprehensive. The Avalanche had the opportunity to take a commanding 3-1 series lead over the Sharks, but in the back of my mind I had my doubts.

San Jose had controlled the previous game only to lose on what amounted to a lucky tip by Ryan O'Reilly, while Craig Anderson was superhuman in stopping all 51 shots he faced. Being an Avalanche fan it was easy to get into the mindset that all the team had to do was squeak out another one at home and the rest of the series would be gravy. That Anderson would be there come hell or high water, and all the boys needed to do was get another couple of bounces.

Credit goes to San Jose for not folding after Dan Boyle's gaffe in game three. The Sharks could have wilted and gone home with the series in peril, perhaps accepting the excuse that destiny wasn't on their side. Yet like the seasoned professionals they are, San Jose came out stout and determined. When Boyle scored in the opening minutes to absolve himself of all fault in the previous game, it seemed as though the rout was on. But that is when something changed, or for that matter didn't change.

The Avalanche held the fort.

Throughout this season every media pundit from coast to coast kept predicting the Avalanche's demise. Every expert had them pegged at last or next to last in the Western Conference, and that analysis made sense. The Avalanche were rebuilding. It was going to take time to return to glory. At one point I actually became frustrated when the team failed to underperform. I wanted them to stink so that they could land another lottery pick. Taylor Hall would have looked great in an Avalanche uniform.

Maybe parity can be credited for this season's rise of the Avalanche. The salary cap has spread talent around the league and there are no real powerhouses any more. Washington is strong and deep, and Pittsburgh and the Blackhawks are right there with them. But after that there are a number of teams which can, on any given night, upset any other team if the effort is there. Parity may enable a team to rebuild and even rise to the level of contender more quickly, but for a team to truly excel its personnel must work hard. There is something pure in that notion.

San Jose is a team full of stars, and should win. Yet it is because of their hard work that the Avalanche are even in this series, much less have the ability to take and hold a lead, and potentially win. This team, come victory or defeat, has managed to impress and amaze entirely because of their work ethic.

After the Sharks victory, the series now shifts back to San Jose tied 2-2. In the glory days of the Avalanche this was cause for concern. These days it should be cause for celebration. The series is back to even and the Avalanche have shown that they will not be defeated easily, with the pressure still resting squarely on the shoulders of the Sharks.

Avalanche fans should keep in mind that this is a team which is still growing and developing, and anything that happens in these playoffs is going to be a positive experience. There will be many more years of success, and we should enjoy the ride while it lasts. Should they beat the Sharks then they will have earned it. If they should fall their efforts will not go unrecognized.

For a team with nothing to lose, the Avalanche can do nothing but win.

Monday, April 19, 2010

The Goalie

I almost felt sorry for them.

Almost.

They have been through so much over the years. So many times in the playoffs. So much defeat and humiliation, but none greater than this.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Not this year. This year was the year. The year that everyone had to take them seriously. The year the Sharks finally got their names on the Cup.

Then it happened.

The mistake.

They had peppered him, the goalie. Shooting from every angle again and again. His team was being overrun! His team of kids; of children!

It isn't their time yet. They know it. Everybody knows it!

51 shots on goal. Fifty-one! All but the last one coming in regulation.

Greater goalies have wilted under less pressure, but not he. Not on this day.

Today he is the greatest goalie on the planet. Today he is being mentioned with the best. With Roy. With Hasek. With Dreyden and Brodeur. With Sawchuk, and Plante, and Hall, and Tretiak.

This guy? This team? Now?!

Now nobody will take the Sharks seriously. Nobody will fear them. They are the team that not only lost to a group of inexperienced kids, but lost in the worst way possible.

An own goal. How terrible it must feel.

They will try to climb back. They will try to take control. They will hit, and grind, and shoot, but this one will gnaw at them. It will tear them apart from the inside. They ultimately lost not because of what they did to themselves.

They lost because of him.

The goalie.

Craig Anderson.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Like Pucks Through the Hourglass...

Not so fresh off of what I am calling "Hockey Day in Korea," I feel I owe it to you, my readers, to drag my husk of a goaltender's body out of bed to deliver a new DNP. These are the playoffs after all, and if our boys in burgundy can get up and take it to the mighty Sharks, I can certainly sit in a chair and slap a keyboard.

The day began full of hope and anticipation as YOUR Colorado Avalanche took on the Sharks in San Jose, and ended with yours truly getting beaten in Cheongju, Korea by a shot that defied all logic and bounced into the goal off of my back. Kill me.

A few thoughts have been rattling around in my head since yesterday's overtime loss.

First, if the Avs had a top-flight, shut down defensemen, they would be up 2-0 on the Sharks and the terrible, constantly booing fans of San Jose would be trying to figure out how their Sharks were beaten by a bunch of upstart punks, 5-2.

Second, Ryan O'Reilly is neither man or machine. Rather he is an interstellar entity made of pure energy and sandpaper. I hereby call upon the Colorado Avalanche Research and Development Department to assemble the world's best scientists to research O'Reilly, and find a way to duplicate him in the form of a shut down defenseman.

Finally, if Daejeon had anything resembling actual, decent nachos, complete with "cheese" and jalapenos (or even better "deluxe" nachos with meat, sour cream, and guacamole like they have at the Pepsi Center) I would not have a blog, I would have a giant tub of nachos in the center of my tiny Korean apartment which I would swim through like Scrooge McDuck. I have seen "nachos" here and I would not touch them with a ten foot pole. Fake cheese is not supposed to be pinkish, or greenish. It is supposed to be neon yellow and taste like "spicy."

Surely the Avalanche have been defying expectations all season, but it is my belief that a series victory over San Jose would not only force that portion of California into hiding in their mom's basements out of shame, but would put the Avalanche on the fast track towards dominance next season.

Until the last game against the Sharks, the Avalanche had shown poise and confidence beyond their years. Behind the extremely stout goaltending of Craig Anderson they have given hope to many Colorado hockey fans who were otherwise ready to hunker down for many years of rebuilding.

Anderson did his best once again to stop the bleeding against the incredibly talented Sharks, stopping the puck 46 out of 52 times, but if the Avalanche are to have any chance of surviving the first round, they must patch the holes in their defense.

Ryan O'Reilly aside, the Avalanche seemed more like a group of eight year old children chasing around a soccer ball than a group of professional hockey players. They took penalties when penalties weren't necessary and avoided intelligent defensive zone tactics at inopportune moments.

I'm certain Joe Sacco did his best to explain to the boys that when you have the puck on your stick in your own zone on the penalty kill, the best option is to always hammer the thing to the other side of the rink, but this logic seemed to escape the Avalanche. Chalk one up to "lessons learned during your first playoff series."

This is a team of the future, but for them to have any chance of taking control of this series at home the Avalanche must play smarter and harder in their own zone.

If not, their inadequacies on defense will come back to bite them.

Pun intended.






Thursday, April 15, 2010

Pony is a Dish Best Served Cold

It is a grim day in Colorado sports history. Perennial patron of philanthropic pursuits Brandon Marshall has been traded to the Dolphins. Let me be the first to say how appalled I am by such an irrational move by such a storied blaggah de bloy blooo!

Excuse me.
BRRHGHGLLLL-UH BLAHHH-GO BLAHHH!!!

As I was saying, who in their right mind would TJKDLSDFNGAJKKKKK!

Pardon me.

As a tax paying American citizen of sound mind and constitution I can only think one thought at such a seminal point in Colorado sports history:

WHO WANTS SOME PLAYOFF HOCKEY?!

That's right folks, after what has seemed like far too long, YOUR Colorado Avalanche are back in the big shoe! And what better way to start off the festivities than a little in-game blog. So un-bind those soiled Broncos pantaloons of yours and kick back for some sizzlin' hockey action!

As always, this one's for the children.

Pregame

"Eh, once we get, uh, kinda that first shift under our belt everybody'll be good. But, uh, like I said, like, us everybody's been kinda sayin'; nobody been predictin' us to get into da playoffs, so we're just, uh, enjoyin' it right now, and we're gonna go out there and play hard and give 'em a good series for sure."

No front teeth. Wicked mohawk. Cody McCloud, ladies and gents!

First period

28 seconds- Penalty Chris Stewart. San Jose power play.

Did I mention this team is jocked? Calm down Avs.

Dany Heatley, fresh off of a stellar season played entirely out of spite for the Ottawa Senators, fires a howitzer into Craig Anderson as twelve Sharks shove the net off of its moorings. Two words nobody is using to describe the Sharks this season: hard up.

The Avalanche do manage to settle down a bit, and with a couple more stops by Andy this penalty is killed! The Sharks bench already looks unhappy.

While the teams grind it out I'd like to take a moment to jinx the hell out of the Sharks by pointing out how they have lost the first game of the playoffs in three consecutive seasons.

3:13- Ryane Clowe takes a sickle to the face of T.J. Galiardi. No penalty. Angry!

2:42- John-Michael Liles rings one off the post! I'm glad the Avs didn't trade Liles. He's been good for more than a few threatening shots on net lately.

Intermission.

I'd like to take a moment to give credit to the people of Phoenix for finding their way to Glendale in 90 degree heat for the game against Detroit. As my buddy Reggie, possibly the only decent Coyotes fan (by decent I mean he happens to be an Avs fan living in Phoenix, I refuse to believe there are actual Yotes fans) on the planet said recently, "last year I made it to six Yotes games and there were no people. This year they're actually good but we had a kid, so I couldn't make it to any games...not that anybody was going. Now they are in the playoffs and I can't get a ticket, and they are moving the team next season."

Desert hockey ladies and gentlemen!

Second Period

12:52- 4 on 4 hockey. Maybe it's me but something tells me the Avalanche might excel against the Sharks because of their skating. Maybe it is because Sharks are fat and slow.

11:40- The Avs buzz the net with Duchene and Liles skating circles around the Sharks defense.

I'd like to give kudos to Mike Haynes and Peter McNabb for constantly bringing up San Jose's shortcomings in the playoffs, specifically those of Joe Thornton. They are masters at the art of jinxing the hell out of opponents.

10:20- Sharks fans almost get a half-hearted cheer going. Good job gang. They are cheering for the #1 seed in the conference, yet their cheering always sounds forced. If I were a Sharks fan I wouldn't get my hopes up either.

8:14- Rob Blake goes to the box for hooking. No moleste!

Power play Avs.

Haynes mentions that the Avs have scored more power play goals against the Sharks this season than the Sharks have against the Avs. Yep, yep. Unh, huh. Keep it comin'.

7:22- SCORE!!!! John! Michael! Liles!

1-0 Avalanche.

Keep the focus, boys.

4:07- Matt Duchene heads off after getting slashed in the face by Evgeni Nabokov's stick. Again, no call. I'm starting to think the refs don't care too much if an Avs player takes some lumber in the grill.

3:35- The Avs surge, capped off by a point blank shot by Kyle Quincey. The boys seem to get riled up every time a young Avalanche star heads off the ice with an injury. I don't want the Sharks to hurt the Avs, but if it helps for them to draw blood, then so be it.

2:53- The Avs go on the power play after putting on a puck control clinic during the delay before a Sharks hooking call. All I can think of at this point is that Avs fans are going to enjoy many, many years of this kind of play, and it is only going to get better.

Power play Avs.

Duchene is literally bleeding from the mouth while skating on the power play. I believe this is known as "leadership."

The Sharks kill off the penalty but not before putting all of Silicon Valley to sleep.

Intermission

Maybe I'm wrong but did I just hear that Chris Pronger scored his first goal against Marty Brodeur since 1997? Rewinding...yep! 1997. Wow. You would think he would have found a way to elbow a Devil with the puck past Marty sooner than that.

Third Period

19:30- Mike Haynes wonders if the Sharks are "squeezin' those sticks a little tighter." I don't think the Sharks can squeeze their sticks any tighter than they have over the last three years, Mike. They're crushing diamonds!

12:01- Score, Sharks. Ryane Clowe turns away from the boards and throws one in, utilizing a garbage move from the Olympics known as "The Crosby Special."

1-1 game.

10:00-7:40- I think the NHL should start tracking debris on the ice, just because nothing says "playoff hockey" quite like debris on the ice. For two minutes and twenty seconds Torrey Mitchell's broken stick sat along the end boards behind Craig Anderson. During this time Anderson stopped Joe Thornton point blank twice, Evgeni Nabokov fended off a solid shot by Adam Foote, T.J. Galiardi was boarded by two Sharks defenders, and Anderson stopped another chance off of the rush.

I like to think Detroit works on things like "passing the puck off of loose stick blades" in practice. Just like how they practice firing the puck off of the end board just to the right of the opposing goal at The Joe. You know the one that makes the puck rebound right in front of the net? God I hate Detroit.

6:44- Whoa nelly! Speaking of funky bounces, Anderson makes a diving save off of a dump-in that appears to have deflected off the stanchion at the end of the Avalanche bench and caromed straight at the Avalanche goal. That's all the Avs need is to lose on a stupid goal like that and have someone like Pierre McGuire make a jackassed remark about how San Jose got the "bounces" and not understand that that isn't a funny joke or appropriate analysis under any circumstances. That said, the Avs need some bounces.

2:00- Crunch time.

1:00- CRUNCH TIME!

49 seconds- SCORE! Chris Stewart off of Rob Blake's foot in front of the net! GIDDYUP!

You want good bounces? You got good bounces!

Go Avalanche!

















Monday, April 5, 2010

The Battle Within

In a season in which shots to the head have been the story in the NHL, the Avalanche have suddenly found themselves in the middle of a sticky predicament.

During the Avalanche win against San Jose, a win which will likely vault the young team into the playoffs, former Avalanche hero Rob Blake knocked out Peter Mueller with a hard, blindside hit into the end boards.

Mueller is now out indefinitely with a concussion. As we all know, when "indefinitely" is mentioned in the same sentence as "concussion" it could be a long time before Mueller sees the ice again.

At the time Mueller had racked up three points in the contest, scoring two important goals in the process. He has benefitted from a rebirth in Colorado, and is seeing the kind of time on a top line that he wasn't getting in Dave Tippett's doghouse in Phoenix.

What is frustrating about the hit is that Blake didn't seem to intend to do anything malicious. The hit in every sense of the word was purely irresponsible. It was a "heat of battle" incident. Mueller was about to receive the puck and a charging Blake threw him hard into the boards at an awkward angle.

Understandably many Avalanche fans are outraged, and are demanding Blake receive a suspension for the hit. But the problem is again, that Blake didn't seem to intend to do anything malicious. He was simply playing hard in an important game. Blake managed to avoid an interference penalty, as Mueller had yet to touch the puck, but that should have been the end of any punishment.

As hockey players continue to stretch the tape with their size and weight every season I fear we will only see more of these kinds of injuries. Injuries which occur when gigantic, strong people moving at high speeds collide with each other.

To further complicate matters, hockey pads these days do more to protect players than they ever have, while at the same time allowing players to throw themselves at the opposition with less fear of injury. Alex Ovechkin takes advantage of this every time he charges an opposing player.

Paradoxically, many players such a Mueller continue to wear helmets which don't provide much actual protection. By "actual" I am referring to the difference between a stripped down, loose fitting, hockey helmet, and a football helmet which encapsulates the entire head. The NHL has been looking into different kinds of helmets which will fit more tightly on a players head, and with any luck new models should be introduced in the coming seasons. But in the end that just doesn't do it for me because we are simply putting band-aids on top of band-aids.

The biggest problem isn't the equipment or the size of the players. It is the attitude of players which may have to change, and subsequently the attitude of the fans. Changing that is far more difficult than introducing new equipment or rules.

Let's be honest. Hockey is entertaining for its hits and fights as well as its fast pace and scoring. Players are trained to hit hard, and fans like the players to hit hard. With that attitude something eventually happens, players get hurt, and fans end up outraged in some form or another. It is that way because we like it that way on some level. We enjoy the drama.

I've always wondered why we get so upset when someone on our team gets hurt by a hard hit, yet we feel such a perverse sense of joy every time an opposing player gets hit in the same manner. Is it a gladiator mentality? Is it bloodlust?

If something has to give then what do we as fans want? Do we take the NHL for what it is: a fast-paced, hard hitting sport? Or do we want players floating around with couch cushions on their bodies, being whistled for penalties like "skating too fast?"

With the erratic leadership being shown by the governors of the NHL at some point we may need to realize that what we are seeing on the ice is exactly what we are going to get, because in the end at some level, we want it to be that way.

The culture of the game hasn't changed much since its inception, only the players are bigger, faster, and more well protected. The injures we are seeing now are a function of those improvements and progress. Could sloppy hits be remedied by some better leadership at the top? Certainly. But I don't trust solid leadership to emerge from the top of the NHL any time soon.

Until then, we are going to have to take the good with the bad, meaning we have to take Peter Mueller's injury for what it is, unfortunate.




Monday, March 29, 2010

Perspective

As the regular season winds down, it has become nail chewing time for Avalanche fans. I know that I've found myself glued to each game wondering what exactly has happened to our team of the future since the Olympic break. Did the team get out of sync during the two week break? Did they use up all of their mojo before the Games?

I believe the answer can be deduced if one takes a moment to recognize that we are seeing a team of youngsters nearing the end of a compressed 82 game, Olympic year schedule. The boys are tired. Young teams do this, especially in Olympic seasons.

After the recent 4-3 loss to San Jose, Craig Anderson set the club record for goaltender appearances in a season, surpassing Patrick Roy's mark of 65 games. In interviews Andy has mentioned that the team is just not playing well, and that he is fine. I'm not buying it. Even the lowliest beer league keeper (me) can tell you when a goalie and his team are fighting the effects of exhaustion.

There is a difference between being on top of your game and playing hard, and throwing beer cans at an opponent like a cross-eyed transit worker coming off of a double shift.

The Avalanche are playing sloppy, tired hockey.

If there ever was a time when the Avalanche should get snowed in at an airport hotel, allowing them to catch some much needed Z's, that time is now.

They are hitting the wall harder than Rocky working over beef carcass.

Maybe this slump by the Avalanche is revealing something about Coloradans that nobody has taken seriously up to this point. When Coloradans aren't stalking David Letterman or shooting people, most of the time we are capable of venting our emotions through sports. This recession hasn't been like the other recessions that have had a pronounced effect on the state. This one is deep, and hurts, and is taking a long time to go away.

It is revealed in every heated shouting session under every Denver Broncos article in the Denver Post. It can be seen after every win by the Nuggets. It can be felt in the recent excitement around the Rockies. Colorado needs to win something. Desperately.

Thus the problem with getting overly excited about the Avalanche this season. They aren't ready yet. This is a team whose average age will be under 25 next year, and are poised to be an elite team for years to come. We must be patient with them.

If the Avalanche make the playoffs this year, great. But keep in mind that this team was supposed to finish in the basement of the Western Conference. Would it be a letdown if they miss the playoffs? Certainly. It would be hard to fight off the effects of the heightened expectations that have come with the unexpected success this season.

I re-learned a hard lesson during Team USA's Olympic run that I spent much of my youth learning as a Bronco fan. Never get your hopes up when you and everyone else around you suspects (or even worse, knows) that the team you are rooting for isn't supposed to be where they are. Your heart will get broken every time.

When the Avalanche consistently crush opponents by five goals we should get our hopes up. Until then we need to be patient and hope they are able to right the ship enough to slide into the postseason.






Sunday, March 14, 2010

The Backup

After watching the Avalanche sweep their season series against the Blues for the first time in their history two thoughts occurred to me. First, the Avalanche have evolved into the kind of dangerous team that must be taken seriously down the stretch and into the playoffs. They have the kind of swagger and confidence that can take them deep this year. Second, if Craig Anderson were to go down with an injury, does the Avalanche team that must be taken seriously suddenly become a paper tiger?

It is surprising that the national hockey media has only recently taken enough notice of Anderson's accomplishments to throw him into MVP discussions, when Avalanche fans know he should be a favorite. Coming over from Florida, Anderson looked like a somewhat reliable stop-gap solution until the Avalanche could mature into a strong team. Yet for people who know a thing or two about goaltending, one only needed to look at Anderson's solid save percentages (.931, .935, .924) as Tomas Vokoun's backup to surmise that Anderson might be better than just a short term solution.

What Anderson has accomplished is that he has allowed a very young team to mature by providing steady, reliable, and often spectacular goaltending. Did anyone think that Anderson would be this good? Hardly. But at the very least the team in front of him hasn't had to worry about having to back check very hard, which has allowed them to focus on developing cohesiveness on other areas of the ice, and become a free wheeling, high scoring team.

Yet as much as Craig Anderson has been a steadying force for Avalanche all that they have accomplished as a team may come crashing to Earth if they have to rely on Peter Budaj to win them a playoff series.

I don't want to be too hard on Budaj, he has shown during his career with the Avalanche that he is capable of coming in and holding the fort. Yet last season when he was a starter for this team and was allowed to get a rhythm, he was mostly average, and occasionally terrible. Budaj blocked the shots that should have been blocked, but he was also prone to the kind of lapses that make fans tug their hair out in clumps. This season he has been better, and is enjoying a career high .925 save percentage backing up Anderson.

Still, what struck me about the game tonight against the Blues, in a game where the Avalanche needed points to stay in the hunt for the Northwest Division, was that Budaj pulled an "Abby", i.e a David Aebischer, in allowing a goal off of the opening faceoff. Keep in mind this was the same Blues team that Budaj capably shut out in December. The Avalanche won the game, but they won't win many with spotty goaltending of that variety.

As everyone knows the NHL playoffs are difficult and dangerous. Every player on every team presses extremely hard and momentum shifts decide games. As the Avalanche learned during their "super team" years, a bad goal allowed by an unfocused goaltender can be deadly.

In this the most improbable of seasons, the Avalanche not only look to be a team of the future, but they look like a team of the present. Craig Anderson has allowed them to develop and reach heights that nobody anticipated six months ago. Yet should misfortune strike, the fate of this team could rest on the shoulders of Peter Budaj. Is he ready to carry the weight if that time comes?






Sunday, March 7, 2010

Thoughts on A Sunday

In my first blog back after a week of recovering from the best hockey tournament of all time (The 2010 Winter Olympics) I've decided to go ahead and hammer out "thoughts" blog until I can get my legs under me. I know a couple of you are eagerly waiting for me to spank out my analysis of Malcom Gladwell's book "Outliers", specifically the portion where he asserts that birthdate in Canada leads to success in juniors, to that I ask that you be patient. I'm running the birth dates of every single Canadian NHL-er, and my computer is making strange noises.

MOlllllll-SSSS-ooonnnnnn!

On with the show.

-The thought that is going to stick with me about the USA vs. Canada game isn't that it was one of the best games that I have seen (It was). Nor is it that I am proud of the American squad for coming together and playing lights out against a team that iced at least 12 future Hall of Fame players (I am). It is that I wish it would have ended better.

For Sidney Crosby to score on what amounted to a "trash" goal has left a bad taste in my mouth. Worse is that the media on both sides of the border took it upon themselves to elevate Crosby to a god-like status. Surely Crosby did the smart thing by turning and throwing the puck at the net, but Jarome Iginla deserves as much or more of the credit for getting him the puck in the first place. The shot didn't surprise Ryan Miller, it just squeaked by. Those are the breaks I guess. Any way you turn it, it was an ugly goal, and for Canada to win like that (in a game they were supposed to win anyways) was more of a letdown than anything.

-After a week of Avalanche games (including yesterday's 7-3 dismantling of the Blues) I can't help but think that whatever special "medicinal" crack Joe Sacco has that team on, needs to be distributed to the rest of America in an effort to get the economy going. This is a team that as of last summer looked to be at minimum three years away from even making the playoffs. Now I would pick them for a first round win and possibly a second round upset.

-Speaking of the dismantling of the Blues, can somebody, anybody explain to me what the big problem was in consistently playing Chris Stewart before this season? Was it Joel Quenneville and Tony Granato's plan to keep Stewart down in the minors until the chip on his shoulder was so big that he is now able to use it to fire lightning bolts from the blue line at a dead sprint? If that is the case, then kudos. But I suspect it had more to do with waiting for the power forward to mature for a bit too long before bringing him up to the show.

-Mueller....Mueller? Who wants to bet Peter Mueller goes for 70 points next season after watching his resurgence this week in Colorado? Here is a first round talent who had a breakout rookie season, only to have his momentum stopped by a concussion, and then never really got back on track under Dave Tippett in Phoenix. Certainly players tend to perform better in the first couple of weeks following a trade, but the way Mueller is gunning perhaps all he needed was a change of scenery.

-Count me as one of the people who shrugged their shoulders upon the departure of Wojtek Wolski. Certainly being good in the shootout is nice, and his ability to smoke the rest of the league in points for the first quarter of every season is tantalizing. But after four power play goals in 150 games, enough was enough. I still think that if Wolski is able to put on some more weight and learn to consistently charge the net he could be great, but I'm not holding my breath. Unless of course he discovers like I did the fattening power of the carne asada burritos Phoenix.

-Finally, a big welcome back to Stephane Yelle! I missed his hustle almost as much as I missed his grit.

I'll be back with more later this week. Until then, to steal a line from legendary astronomer Jack Horkheimer, "Keep your feet on the ground, and your head in the stars!"


Friday, February 26, 2010

Shock. The. World.

You gotta love when your team storms the Bastille like team USA did today against Finland. Six goals in the first period. Count 'em. And just like that Team USA will play for gold fifty years after the red, white, and blue took the top prize in Squaw Valley, and thirty years after blowing minds in Lake Placid. Could it happen again?

Nobody expected the small, young, and "undertalented" Americans to get this far. Nobody.

Here's the thing, the NHL needs a win by the Americans. Hockey needs a win by the Americans. To say the least the NHL in North America has been struggling since a lockout killed the 2004-2005 season.

The fact of the matter is that hockey is mostly supported by a nation that treats it like a red headed stepchild. On most days, most Americans have better things to do then try and follow around a black doughnut on a slick surface. The United States is fickle like that. We are content to watch modern day gladiators bump heads in publicly funded stadiums, rather than watch grown men on skates. Can Canadians live without hockey? No. But can the ignorance of the nation to the south kill the game at a professional level? Most definitely.

Sunday is the biggest of all big games for the sport of hockey in America. Team USA will once again take on a juggernaut, and the betting money will be going in the direction of Canada.

Can team USA supply the kind of jolt that will re-awaken American hockey passion?

Do you believe in miracles?

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Dirty

Entering today I felt that the winners in the quarterfinals of the Olympics would be pretty clear cut. The United States, riding a wave of momentum was geared up to dispatch the Swiss. Team Canada would be challenged, but ultimately overcome the Russian invasion. The Finns and their ability to come together during the Olympics would mildly upset the Czech Republic. Finally, the Swedes would prove superior to the suddenly dangerous Slovakians. When the day was over I was mostly right. Let's have a look.

Men's Quarterfinal #1- USA vs. Switzerland

Result: Team USA scraped out a victory, 2-0.

What I said:

Both Miller and Hiller (hey that rhymes!) have been incredible up to this point. Miller has his uplifting win over Canada, and Hiller has his uplifting almost-win over Canada. The Swiss have been trapping harder than an Arizona minuteman at the border, but the Americans have all the momentum in the world after shocking the rock on Sunday. This game will be close because I expect Team USA to deal with a bit of a letdown, but in the end the Americans should prevail.

Winner: Team USA

Analysis: Once again Ryan Miller stepped up and delivered a shutout against a Swiss team that played hard, but ultimately ran out of gas. Had this game gone 6 periods it's possible the Swiss may have found a way to win, but in the end Zach Parise found the will and the way for the Americans, scoring both goals. A big tip of the hat to Jonas Hiller for showing the world once again why he should not be taken lightly in tournament play.

Men's Quarterfinal #2- Russia vs. Canada

Result: Canada stomped the commies 7-3.

What I said:

The question here is whether or not Team Canada managed to gain some cohesiveness during their game against Germany, or if it was a case of a bunch of angry Canucks doing mean things to a bunch of hapless umlauts. One has to think Mike Babcock will keep the line of Iginla, Crosby, and Staal together if only because he has to go with something that is working. That said, Canada must get some production out of the Thornton line for Canada to have a chance.

On the flip side Team Russia has flipped on the afterburners since Evgeni Malkin was put together with Alex Ovechkin. Russia's weakness as I have stated before is in their defense. Outside of Gonchar and Markov this team has some questions. Considering that Team Canada was in disarray not but 48 hours ago, and the fact that the Russians have had some issues on their end coming into this game, I'm thinking that once again this one is coming down to the goaltending. If that is the case I have to go with Roberto Luongo playing in his building, in his country.

Winner: Team Canada

Analysis: What is shocking about the result of this game is not that Canada came out focused and angry, nor is it shocking that they managed to pump in seven goals against what was widely regarded as the second best team in the world. What is shocking is how Alex Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin were rendered almost completely irrelevant by the Canadian defense. Check out Ovechkin and Malkins lines for the game:

Ovechkin:

No goals, No assists, 3 shots on goal, minus-2, 23 shifts

Malkin:

No goals, 1 assist, 3 shots on goal, minus-2, 22 shifts

That my friends is IN-CRED-I-BULLLL!

The Canadians are officially rolling at this point. Am I scurred? I ain't scurred...I think.

Men's Quarterfinal #3- Finland vs Czech Republic

Result: You read it here, Finland over the Czechs 2-0.

What I said:

Finland has to be reeling a bit after getting stomped by arch rival Sweden on Sunday. But on the other hand there is a good chance Jaromir Jagr is still trying to figure out what country he is in after being taken behind the woodshed by Ovechkin (which may or may not have been the reason he had to leave the game against Latvia in the first period).

I mention Jagr because if he plays the entire game against Latvia, and is healthy, there is no way the Czechs win by only one goal, and even then that game doesn't go into overtime. If I take that into account along with the fact that Finland and Miikka Kiprusoff have had a chance to rest up since their loss to the Swedes, I end up leaning more in the direction of Finland in this game.

Winner in a mild upset: Finland

Analysis: This was a strange one, as a well intentioned but not well thought out rule assisted the Finns. Long story short, Czech defenseman Pavel Kubina dropped to block a shot during a Finn power play late in the third period but lost his helmet in the process. According to International Hockey Federation rules, a player who loses his helmet must promptly return to the bench. What Kubina did was leave his man, Nicklas Hagman, in front of the net and go to retrieve his helmet. Hagman then promptly scored.

Both teams agreed after the fact that the rule which was intended to ensure the safety of players was a stupid rule. The DNP agrees with this assessment, as losing your helmet during play means that it is man time, and risking your safety in exchange for helping out your team is your choice.

That said, Miikka Kiprusoff was more or less, and not just a little lucky in helping his team to the win. At one point Jaromir Jagr had Kipper beat and fanned on an open net. In fact, it was Jagr's limited play (he was playing injured) which may have been the difference maker in the game.

Men's Quarterfinal #4- Sweden vs. Slovakia

Result: Shock the world Slovakia wins 4-3!

What I said:

Wouldn't it be something if the Slovaks rose up and took down the defending Olympic champions? It is something to consider. Jaroslav Halak has been otherworldly in this tournament, and any team icing Marian Gaborik and Marian Hossa cannot be ignored.

Still, it is difficult to bet against King Henrik at this point. Halak may be the up and comer, but Lundqvist is an Olympic champion. Additionally it is hard to ignore the contributions that have been made by Swedes who aren't the Sedin twins. Nicklas Backstrom is a superstar along with Daniel Alfredsson and Johan Franzen. Not to mention that there are plenty of Swedes who still have some gas left in the tank...like say...Peter Forsberg.

Winner: Sweden

Analysis: I'm officially upgrading Slovakia on my Boston townie threat chart from "Wicked" to "Pissah!" What a game by the Slovakians! Pavol Demitra had three points. Marian Hossa had three assists. The Slovaks were up 2-0 early only to have the Swedes even it up before Demitra put his team up for good. You want vermouth? You can't handle vermouth! If it wasn't for the United States rattling Canada's cage on Sunday this would be the upset of the tournament. Slovakia is for real. Incredible.

Quarterfinal prediction results: 3-1
Tournament record: 18-5

Let's move on to the biggies. It's man time.

February 26 (The official birthday of the DNP)

Men's Semifinal #1- United States vs. Finland

USA: Ryan Miller
Finland: Miikka Kiprusoff

This should be another tight game for the Americans, and for the Finns. The teams are fairly evenly matched. The difference maker? Team speed. As the Americans showed against the Canadians their youth movement wasn't in vein. Team USA can sprint. Ryan Miller is lava hot at this point, while Kipper is merely at a rolling boil after his strange win in the last round.

The Finns are a tricky team to analyze. Miko Koivu is the star of the squad these days, and frankly that makes me shrug my shoulders like I should care. Gone are the days of a dominant Teemu Selanne and Saku Koivu. I feel like I should take Finland more seriously, but the Americans are rolling.

Winner: Ryan Miller- USA

Men's Semifinal #2- Canada vs. Slovakia

Canada: Roberto Luongo
Slovakia: Jaroslav Halak

Considering the antics of the Slovakians they would be the sexy pick at this point...except that they are up against a juggernaut manned by several hall of fame quality players. Team USA did accomplish an upset against them, but at this point I think what they may have done was awaken Godzilla. The Canadians are pissed and focused. If there are any questions I recommend you take a look at the scattered wreckage of the Russian team.

Winner: Roberto Luongo- Canada

If all goes as planned we are looking at a USA-Canada final, which two weeks ago nobody saw coming. All I can hope for here is that everyone finds the time to tip their waitresses.


Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Quarters, Nickels, and Dimes

Here we are in the Olympic quarterfinals, and if you feel like I do the start of the hockey action seems like it was six months ago, even if it was only a week ago. Sakes, Olympic hockey takes a lot out of everyone, including the players! I'm still riding high on Team USA's epic win over Team Canada, and here's hoping the Americans still have some juice!

One note here, I neglected to write about the qualifying round on purpose because I felt that the better teams (Canada, Switzerland, Czech Republic, and Slovakia) would all prevail over the lesser teams (Belarus, Germany, Latvia, Norway), and fortunately I was right.

One thing to notice about the "play in" games was Canada dismantling Germany 8-2 behind a stellar performance by Roberto Luongo, who in my opinion should have been in goal for Canada in the first place. Also, Jarome Iginla was put back on the Crosby line along with Eric Staal, and the combination paid dividends. Canada is not out of this tournament by any means.

One more thing. If you would like to read up on my preliminary round results, please feel free to check them out HERE.

Let's get down to it!

Wednesday, February 24th

Men's Quarterfinal #1- USA vs. Switzerland

USA: Ryan Miller
Switzerland: Jonas Hiller

Both Miller and Hiller (hey that rhymes!) have been incredible up to this point. Miller has his uplifting win over Canada, and Hiller has his uplifting almost-win over Canada. The Swiss have been trapping harder than an Arizona minuteman at the border, but the Americans have all the momentum in the world after shocking the rock on Sunday. This game will be close because I expect Team USA to deal with a bit of a letdown, but in the end the Americans should prevail.

Winner: Team USA

Men's Quarterfinal #2- Russia vs. Canada

Russia: Evgeni Nabokov
Canada: Roberto Luongo

Whoa nellie! The ice will melt in Vancouver before this one is done. Surely it is a bit of a letdown that one of these teams will walk away without a medal, but in the end I'm an American, and I'm okay with that.

The question here is whether or not Team Canada managed to gain some cohesiveness during their game against Germany, or if it was a case of a bunch of angry Canucks doing mean things to a bunch of hapless umlauts. One has to think Mike Babcock will keep the line of Iginla, Crosby, and Staal together if only because he has to go with something that is working. That said, Canada must get some production out of the Thornton line for Canada to have a chance.

On the flip side Team Russia has flipped on the afterburners since Evgeni Malkin was put together with Alex Ovechkin. Russia's weakness as I have stated before is in their defense. Outside of Gonchar and Markov this team has some questions. Considering that Team Canada was in disarray not but 48 hours ago, and the fact that the Russians have had some issues on their end coming into this game I'm thinking that once again this one is coming down to the goaltending. If that is the case I have to go with Roberto Luongo playing in his building, in his country.

Winner: Team Canada

Men's Quarterfinal #3- Finland vs Czech Republic

Finland: Miikka Kiprusoff
Czech Republic: Tomas Vokoun

Finland has to be reeling a bit after getting stomped by arch rival Sweden on Sunday. But on the other hand there is a good chance Jaromir Jagr is still trying to figure out what country he is in after being taken behind the woodshed by Ovechkin (which may or may not have been the reason he had to leave the game against Latvia in the first period).

I mention Jagr because if he plays the entire game against Latvia, and is healthy, there is no way the Czechs win by only one goal, and even then that game doesn't go into overtime. If I take that into account along with the fact that Finland and Miikka Kiprusoff have had a chance to rest up since their loss to the Swedes, I end up leaning more in the direction of Finland in this game.

Winner in a mild upset: Finland

Men's Quarterfinal #4- Sweden vs. Slovakia

Sweden: Henrik Lundqvist
Slovakia: Jaroslav Halak

Wouldn't it be something if the Slovaks rose up and took down the defending Olympic champions? It is something to consider. Jaroslav Halak has been otherworldly in this tournament, and any team icing Marian Gaborik and Marian Hossa cannot be ignored.

Still, it is difficult to bet against King Henrik at this point. Halak may be the up and comer, but Lundqvist is an Olympic champion. Additionally it is hard to ignore the contributions that have been made by Swedes who aren't the Sedin twins. Nicklas Backstrom is a superstar along with Daniel Alfredsson and Johan Franzen. Not to mention that there are plenty of Swedes who still have some gas left in the tank...like say...Peter Forsberg.

Winner: Sweden

That's all for now, I'll be back in a day or so to assess the damage.



Movin' On Up

So here we are after a raucous opening week of men's Olympic hockey. There have been some close calls, some monster hits, some dirty plays, a minor and a major upset at this point. The quarterfinals should prove to be even more exciting! Let's get down to the dirty.

Tuesday, February 16


USA vs. Switzerland

Result: USA won 3-1 over Switzerland.

What I said (In so many words...)

If there has been a better keeper in the NHL this season then someone should tell Ryan Miller about him. Goaltending is America's hope in these Games considering the rest of the squad is young, and not very deep towards the end of the 4th line. If the US is truly the dark horse this year it will be because of Miller.

If the Swiss play Gerber over Hiller then the US wins handily. Gerber hasn't been relevant well, ever. Hiller showed in last season's Stanley Cup tourney that he is capable of rising to the occasion. If Hiller plays this could be a close one.

Winner: Miller- USA


Analysis: Miller got a great start to the tournament with a win over a surprisingly strong Swiss contingent that was playing a very stout trapping game. Jonas Hiller proved once again that he can be a monster in a tournament format.

Canada vs. Norway

Result: Canada won 8-0 over Norway.

What I said:

Does Team Canada throw out Brodeur or Luongo, both of whom were distracted and pulled from their respective pre-Olympic NHL games? My money is on Luongo. He is the best Canadian goalie at the right time, as Brodeur is in a nasty slump.

Winner: Luongo-Canada

Analysis: Canada rolled and smoked Norway like Cheech and Chong at Burning Man. Jarome Iginla was a man on a mission with an opening game hat trick, and Luongo came out on fire with a shutout. Little did we know then that Canada may have been much better off keeping Robbie between the pipes!

Russia vs. Latvia

Result: Russia 8-2 over Latvia

What I said:

Nabokov should get the start here, although something tells me that Bryzgalov has a 2x4 sized chip on his shoulder that has come from tugging along an upstart Phoenix club this season. Russia's offense is pow-er-FUL, but their weakness is on defense after Sergei Gonchar and Andrei Markov, both of whom are more offensive than defensive. The Russian goalies will see shots.

Winner: Nabokov-Russia

Analysis: The Russians are an incredibly strong team and did little to disprove that in this game. Ovechkin topped all scorers with two biscuits in the basket.

Wednesday, February 17

Finland vs. Belarus

Result: Finland won 5-1

What I said:

Something tells me to watch out for the Finns this year. They have a way of coming together in the name of nationalistic pride like no other country. Kiprusoff should have a strong tournament, as he has been a steadying force on an erratic Calgary club this season.

Winner: Kipper-Finland

Analysis: I think the only thing that could be considered shocking about this game is that Kipper actually looked bored. I guess I felt Belarus would put up more of a fight. Teemu Selanne came within spitting distance of setting the all time Olympic scoring mark.

Sweden vs. Germany

Result: Sweden eked out a close one 2-0

What I said:

This will be an interesting team this year with the addition of Peter Forsberg and the late, late addition of Johan Franzen. Still, this article is about the keepers, and Lundqvist clearly dominated in the last Olympics. This year should be no different although Lundy has played a bit timidly for the Rangers this season. If he falters I'm left wondering if Sweden will have the goaltending to stay in the tournament. Gustavsson is the heir apparent but is a bit young, and Stefan Liv won't be used to this level of talent.

Winner: Lundqvist-Sweden

Analysis: This could have been a game where Sweden dropped an easy one to a heavy underdog, yet they managed just enough scoring to keep the umlauts at bay. Peter Forsberg emerged on North American ice for the first time in over two years looking more like Pedro the late night corner burrito guy than the legendary Pedro Forsbergo from his better days with the Avalanche. I miss old Pedro.

Czech Republic vs. Slovakia

Result: The Czechs scrape out a win against the stout Slovaks.

What I said:

This team has the ability to pull an upset. The reason? Vokoun. Vokoun has come alive in the last month of the NHL season for a bad Florida club. If the people running this team have their heads on straight and aren’t busy staring at Jaromir Jagr’s new mullet they’ll ride Vokoun like Secretariat.

(Slovakia) is the other team that has the ability to pull an upset. The reason is that they have someone between the pipes who has had something to prove in Jaroslav Halak. While everyone is going to be busy staring at Slovakia’s terrifying top line of Gaborik, Demitra and Hossa, I’ll be busy staring at Halak, reveling in the fact that I haven’t seen a goalie this pissed off and focused since Marty Brodeur got divorced and decided to win the Stanley Cup out of spite in 2003. If the Slovakian coaches feel the need to motivate Halak even more than he already is, all they have to do is tape a photo of Carey Price up in his locker.


Winner: Halak- Slovakia

Analysis: Indeed Halak was a force to be reckoned with, but in the end the Czechs and a slimmer, trimmer, and wiser Jaromir Jagr were too much in this rivalry game.

Thursday, February 18

USA vs. Norway

Result: The Americans won 6-1

What I said:

Can Ryan Miller bring down the circle-slashes? It says here that this one will be a close game, but not really.

Winner: Miller-USA

Analysis: Norway proved to be a tougher opponent than expected, but that was due to a lackadaisical effort by the red, white and blue for half the game. Miller was tested at times but didn't give.

Switzerland vs. Canada

Result: Canada won 3-2 in a shootout.

What I said:

Let’s see…Jonas Hiller getting scored on by Sidney Crosby. Jonas Hiller getting scored on by Patrick Marleau. Jonas Hiller getting scored on by Eric Staal. Martin Gerber getting scored on by Dan Boyle. Martin Gerber getting scored on by Dany Heatley. I could go on.

This one has “bloodbath” written all over it.


Winner: Brodeur- Canada

Anaylsis: Jonas Hiller absolutely stonewalled the Canadians before finally giving way to Sidney Crosby's shootout winner, which was the second shootout attempt by Crosby in the game due to some strange olympic rules from the moon. Brodeur did not look great but did well enough in the shootout to get the win. This is where Canada started to come apart a bit. For whatever reason Mike Babcock shuffled lines resulting in Jarome Iginla being dropped off of the Crosby line. This tinkering would not bode well in the next game for the Canadians.

Slovakia vs. Russia

Result: Slovakia wins a shocker in an eight round shootout 2-1

What I said:

Nabokov vs. Halak. If they get a chance to fight I’ll take Halak. If not, I’ll take Ovechkin pumping in four goals and demoralizing the upstart Slovaks.

Winner: Nabokov- Russia


Analysis: Halak, Halak, and more Halak. This game was the coming out party for the Montreal goalie who should be considered on the short list of up and coming superstar goalies. The Slovakian keeper stopped 36 shots through three periods and overtime. Ovechkin suddenly turned into a checking forward in this game, for whatever reason, while Pavol Demitra potted the winner in the shootout. This game served as a wake up call for the Russian squad.

Friday, February 19

Belarus vs. Sweden

Result: Sweden won 4-2

What I said:

Vitali, Maxim, and Andrei meet Henrik, Daniel, Peter, Henrik, Daniel, Nicklas and Johan.

Just…try to relax.

Winner: Lundqvist- Sweden

Analysis: "The Monster" Jonas Gustavsson spelled Henrik Lundqvist and gave up a couple of goals to make this game look closer than it was. Simply, Sweden dominated for long stretches in this contest. The emergence of the Sedin twins as a force to be reckoned with has been something to behold. Not to be upstaged, old man river, Daniel Alfredsson spanked in a couple of goals to ensure the win.

Czech Republic vs. Latvia

Result: Team Jagr over Latvia 5-2

What I said:

Has anybody else noticed that 80% of the Latvian team plays for Dinamo Riga of the KHL? Remember that note about cohesiveness and chemistry that I wrote about 17 paragraphs ago? Well, at least the Latvians will have that going for them. This could be a close one!


Winner: Vokoun-Czech Republic

Analysis: This turned out to be a fairly close contest even though the Czechs knocked in three goals in the first five minutes. The Latvians didn't break and instead answered with a couple of goals in the second frame before finally yielding.

Finland vs. Germany

Result: Finns win 5-0.

What I said:

Hmmm…Kipper versus Greiss. Is it me or does “Greiss” sound like the name of a strange boss character from Double Dragon on the ol Nintendo?

Winner: Teemu Selanne’s magic team from the frozen lunar hell scape.

Analysis: The only news to come out of this trouncing by Finland was that Selanne became the all time Olympic scorer with an assist in the second period. He now has 37 points all-time in Olympic competition.

Saturday, February 20

Norway vs. Switzerland

Result: The Swiss over The Vikings 5-4

What I said:

What’s this? We have the Outback Bowl of hockey! This might be a close game between two marginally talented, under-populated countries! I can only hope the circle-slashes play Reuben Smith, if only because I’d like to spend the two hours making jokes about how Reuben once worked at a restaurant where he toiled for weeks unsuccessfully trying to come up with name for a sandwich featuring corned beef, sauerkraut, and thousand island dressing on toasted marble rye before flying off the handle and killing the sous chef.

Winner: Hmmm…give me The Reubens by a goal with a side of curly fries.

Analysis: This proved to be a tight and exciting game between the two squads. There isn't much else to say here outside of me taking a moment to express my aggravation that Reuben Smith was not played, and that yes, I miss American food.

Latvia vs. Slovakia

Result: Slovakia whipped Latvia 6-0

What I said:

Dinamo Riga vs. The Marians.

Methinks Halak bounces back nicely in this one.

Winner: Halak-Slovakia


Analysis: The Latvians went down hard in this one as the Slovaks buried five goals in a little over a period. Jaroslav Halak threw up the force field as he added a shutout to his Olympic resume. I'm officially elevating the Slovaks to "Wicked" on my Boston townie threat chart.

Germany vs. Belarus

Result: Belarus by a couple.

What I said:

I’m going to have to go with Belarus on this one. If only because it wouldn’t be the Winter Olympics if some guy named Vitali wasn’t able to hold his head up high before he is shipped back to run a forklift at the mink factory.

Winner: One of the Belarussian goalies.


Analysis: Happy time for all!

Sunday, February 21

Russia vs. Czech Republic

Result: Russia won 4-2

What I said:

Vokoun shall enjoy making many stoppings but in end Ovechkin and Semin will dance upon his bloated carcass like drunken postmen. High five!

Winner: Nabokov-Russia

Analysis: take a moment and watch this witness account of Alex Ovechkin taking Jaromir Jagr's lunch money (thanks to NBC rights n' stuff us overseas folks aren't being treated to an actual clip).


Canada vs. USA

Result: USA! USA! USA!

What I said:

I want an upset. Oh god I want an upset! This game has to be close going into the third for the Americans to have any chance. Miller has to be poppin’ and lockin’ like it’s 1985. Please God. Please!

Winner if life were fair: Miller-USA

Analysis: Good day, sunshine! Team USA came to play and this game may be the last time Marty Brodeur sees Olympic ice. So it goes when the mighty fall. The Americans weathered a consistent attack by the Canadians and came away with a HUGE upset. Ryan Miller proved that he has what it takes to win big games, as he repelled 42 of 45 Canadian hate bullets, while Brian Rafalski continued his scorching tournament play from the blue line with two goals.

Sweden vs. Finland

Result: Sweden won 3-0

What I said:

I’ve been to Finland. I’ve been to Sweden. They get along only because they kind of, sort of have to. Kind of like how Minnesotans and Wisconsinites tolerate each other at family reunions because it’s for the greater good and nobody wants to make a scene. They’re strange folks, them. Having a rivalry game of this magnitude in the preliminary round is a bit of a travesty doncha think?

Winner: Give me Sweden and a shot of Finlandia measured out by a sexy bartender in an extremely tight sweater.

Analysis: Sweden is defending champ for a reason. Remember this.

Overall predictions: 15-3

Monday, February 22, 2010

Whoa Canada!

Well then!

I decided to drop in a quick post before I go back to celebrating Team USA's 5-3 victory over mighty Team Canada in the preliminary round today. The victory will surely go down as the biggest ultimately meaningless upset of all time because nobody won anything, but still it is worth enjoying. Team USA was not supposed to win against the Canadians today. They hadn't beaten them in the Olympics since 1960, yet they won in impressive fashion and here we are on top of the world for at least a day or two.

Many kudos have to go out to Ryan Miller for putting up the force field and stopping 42 of 45 shots in the victory. As many people have said before, if the US wins it will be because of Miller. But there is something else that gets me excited about Team USA. They are gritty, and fast, and they are having fun. The composition of the team seems to be more out of necessity than anything. They are an assemblage of the best parts USA hockey had available.

Team USA isn't a bunch of chubs, mind you. They are professionals who are tough and fast because they have no other option. America doesn't end up putting as many 6'-4" lumberjacks on skates as Canada does. But they do have one thing that Canada doesn't have: they are loose.

It is times like this when the average American's complete disregard for the sport of hockey actually works to our advantage. We aren't heaping a ton of pressure on our team to bring home a gold every four years. A medal would be nice, but mostly people seem to be expending more energy trying to figure out the sport of curling.

I have this feeling that something is up with Canada, and it isn't because Mike Babcock decided to play a 38 year old keeper on the backside of his career over the best goalie in their country (Luongo).

On paper there is no way Canada should ever lose a hockey game, except they are lacking the one element that wins hockey games that the United States pumps out in quantity: mediocre checking forwards who do everything they can to keep the locker room from becoming tense.

I swear Canada lost simply because they didn't add enough David Backes or Ryan Kesler types to their roster, going instead with established world class talent.

You know the types of players I'm talking about. Guys who probably shouldn't be on an olympic team, but get on because they are good at hitting and grinding and drinking. People who are genuinely happy to there. They might end up sleeping on a couch on a sidewalk in Vancouver, or peeing in the team captain's skates, who knows? But it's all for the good of the team and it keeps everyone from having a collective aneurism.

Simply, Canada might not win the gold medal because they don't have enough Shjon Podeins.

When I look at Canada's roster I see some skilled grinding types like Mike Richards and Brendan Morrow. I also see a whole lot of admittedly terrifying offensive and defensive talent. Yet I also see a whole lot of pretty (Patrice Bergeron), pretty old (Neidermayer and Pronger), and pretty tense (Joe Thornton).

Canada is begging for a guy with the kind of carefree attitude to pants Sidney Crosby during an interview.

In Team USA you have a squad with a pretty big chip on their shoulders but they are loose because they weren't supposed to get this far in the first place. While at the same time Team Canada is more wound up than a pair of garage door springs.

The world hasn't ended for the Canadians, even though it would be nice if Team USA didn't have to face them again. But until Team Canada realizes that they need to loosen up they aren't going to go anywhere.

Strangely enough this might be a time when Canadian hockey could learn a thing or two from their brothers to the south.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Los Olympicos Del Invierno

In case you haven't noticed the Winter Olympics are upon us which means hockey fans around the world are champing at the bit for what looks to be an exciting tournament.

As even the most casual hockey fan knows, hockey is as much or more of a team sport than any other sport. Forwards rely on their defensemen to stop the opposing rush and feed them the puck so that they may score. Defensemen rely on their forwards to not only put the puck in the net, but back check in their own end. And goalies rely on the five players in front of them to keep shots down and clear out opposing players.

In tournament play chemistry is an extremely important factor in the selection of any team, but since the Olympics began to allow NHL players into the mix teams have less time than ever to come together as a unit. Often times "Dream Teams" are just that, a dream, as they don't have nearly enough time before the Olympics to gain cohesiveness.

Sometimes the star studded units never come together due to arrogance and ego, and entire nations are left wondering what happened, much to the chagrin of people who know or knew better like Herb Brooks, who let's just say had a bit of an aversion to coaching professional hockey players. That said this is where goalies come in as the most important players on any hockey team during short tournaments. Often it is up to them to save games until the units in front of them have a chance to play long enough together to gain a rhythm.

There is glaring evidence of this in the past, with possibly the greatest individual Olympic hockey performance coming in the form of Dominik Hasek stealing the gold for the Czechs in Nagano in 1998. To a somewhat lesser extent there are also the performances of Martin Brodeur and Henrik Lundqvist in the past two games.

Knowing this, I've decided to throw out my preliminary round hockey picks for these games in the form of simple goaltender match-ups, as the NHL-stocked teams have in the area of 48-96 hours to come together before they hit the ice.

Tuesday, February 16

USA vs. Switzerland

USA: Ryan Miller, Tim Thomas, and Jon Quick

If there has been a better keeper in the NHL this season then someone should tell Ryan Miller about him. Goaltending is America's hope in these Games considering the rest of the squad is young, and not very deep towards the end of the 4th line. If the US is truly the dark horse this year it will be because of Miller.

Thomas and Quick could step up in the event of a mishap or letdown by Miller. In that case I would go with Quick over Thomas, as last year's Vezina winner Thomas is having a substandard season for the Bruins. Quick has been white hot for the Kings.

Switzerland: Martin Gerber, Jonas Hiller, and Tobias Stephan

If the Swiss play Gerber over Hiller then the US wins handily. Gerber hasn't been relevant well, ever. Hiller showed in last season's Stanley Cup tourney that he is capable of rising to the occasion. If Hiller plays this could be a close one.

Winner: Miller- USA

Canada vs. Norway

Canada: Martin Brodeur, Roberto Luongo, Marc-Andre Fleury

Whom to play, whom to play...

Does Team Canada throw out Brodeur or Luongo, both of whom were distracted and pulled from their respective pre-Olympic NHL games? My money is on Luongo. He is the best Canadian goalie at the right time as Brodeur is in a nasty slump. The goalie who may be ignored in this tourney is Fleury, who did yeoman's work last season in backstopping the Penguins to a Cup. He isn't having the best season this year, so I'm thinking his Cup success with the Pens got him on the team. Still, he has shown that he may be a better tournament goalie than the two men ahead of him.

Norway: Pal Grotnes, Andre Lysenstoen, Reuben Smith

Okay, I admit it. I have no idea who any of these goalies are. That Norway has a keeper named Reuben Smith is somewhat mysterious, and his name makes me kind of hungry. Please note that I can't figure out how to make my computer type the circle-slash letters required when spelling Norwegian names…and yes, I know there is a name for those things. Let's move on.

Winner: Luongo- Canada

Russia vs. Latvia

Russia: Evgeni Nabokov, Ilya Bryzgalov, Semyon Varlamov

Nabokov should get the start here, although something tells me that Bryzgalov has a 2x4 sized chip on his shoulder that has come from tugging along an upstart Phoenix club this season. Russia's offense is pow-er-FUL, but their weakness is on defense after Sergei Gonchar and Andrei Markov, both of whom are more offensive than defensive. The Russian goalies will see shots.

Latvia: Edgars Masalskis, Ervins Mustukovs, and Sergejs Naumovs

Frankly, I don't know or recognize any more players on this squad than I did on the Norwegian club, and lacking any grainy surveillance cam footage of the keepers, I'm flying blind here. Something tells me there may be an upset in the works in the prelims, yet I don't think it is coming from the Latvians. But hey, they have Karlis Skrastins, dude. SKRASTINS!

Winner: Nabokov-Russia

Wednesday, February 17

Finland vs. Belarus

Finland: Miikka Kiprusoff, Antero Niittymaki, and Niklas Backstrom

Something tells me to watch out for the Finns this year. They have a way of coming together in the name of nationalistic pride like no other country. Kiprusoff should have a strong tournament, as he has been a steadying force on an erratic Calgary club this season.

Belarus: Vitali Koval, Maxim Malyutin, and Andrei Mezin

Does Belarus pull the upset this year? If they do the trio named Vitali, Maxim, and Andrei should look into opening a salon and selling a line of hair care products.

Winner: Kipper-Finland

Sweden vs. Germany

Sweden: Henrik Lundqvist, Jonas Gustavsson, and Stefan Liv

This will be an interesting team this year with the addition of Peter Forsberg and the late, late addition of Johan Franzen. Still, this article is about the keepers, and Lundqvist clearly dominated in the last Olympics. This year should be no different although Lundy has played a bit timidly for the Rangers this season. If he falters I'm left wondering if Sweden will have the goaltending to stay in the tournament. Gustavsson is the heir apparent but is a bit young, and Stefan Liv won't be used to this level of talent.

Germany: Thomas Greiss, Dennis Endras, and Dimitri Patzold

The umlauts sport a decent backup quality keeper in Greiss and not much else. They are the 10th seed for a reason, people.

Winner: Lundqvist-Sweden

Czech Republic vs. Slovakia

Czech Republic: Tomas Vokoun, Ondrej Pavelec, Jakub Stepanek

This team has the ability to pull an upset. The reason? Vokoun. Vokoun has come alive in the last month of the NHL season for a bad Florida club. If the people running this team have their heads on straight and aren’t busy staring at Jaromir Jagr’s new mullet they’ll ride Vokoun like Secretariat.

Slovakia: Jaroslav Halak, Peter Budaj, and Rastislav Stana

This is the other team that has the ability to pull an upset. The reason is that they have someone between the pipes who has had something to prove in Jaroslav Halak. While everyone is going to be busy staring at Slovakia’s terrifying top line of Gaborik, Demitra and Hossa, I’ll be busy staring at Halak, reveling in the fact that I haven’t seen a goalie this pissed off and focused since Marty Brodeur got divorced and decided to win the Stanley Cup out of spite in 2003. If the Slovakian coaches feel the need to motivate Halak even more than he already is, all they have to do is tape a photo of Carey Price up in his locker.

Winner: Halak- Slovakia


Thursday, February 18

USA vs. Norway

Can Ryan Miller bring down the circle-slashes? It says here that this one will be a close game, but not really.

Winner: Miller-USA

Switzerland vs. Canada
Let’s see…Jonas Hiller getting scored on by Sidney Crosby. Jonas Hiller getting scored on by Patrick Marleau. Jonas Hiller getting scored on by Eric Staal. Martin Gerber getting scored on by Dan Boyle. Martin Gerber getting scored on by Dany Heatley. I could go on.

This one has “bloodbath” written all over it.

Winner: Brodeur- Canada

Slovakia vs. Russia

Nabokov vs. Halak. If they get a chance to fight I’ll take Halak. If not, I’ll take Ovechkin pumping in four goals and demoralizing the upstart Slovaks.

Winner: Nabokov- Russia


Friday, February 19

Belarus vs. Sweden

Vitali, Maxim, and Andrei meet Henrik, Daniel, Peter, Henrik, Daniel, Nicklas and Johan.

Just…try to relax.

Winner: Lundqvist- Sweden

Czech Republic vs. Latvia

Has anybody else noticed that 80% of the Latvian team plays for Dinamo Riga of the KHL? Remember that note about cohesiveness and chemistry that I wrote about 17 paragraphs ago? Well, at least the Latvians will have that going for them. This could be a close one!

Winner: Vokoun-Czech Republic

Finland vs. Germany

Hmmm…Kipper versus Greiss. Is it me or does “Greiss” sound like the name of a strange boss character from Double Dragon on the ol Nintendo?

Winner: Teemu Selanne’s magic team from the frozen lunar hellscape.

Saturday, February 20

Norway vs. Switzerland

What’s this? We have the Outback Bowl of hockey! This might be a close game between two marginally talented, under-populated countries! I can only hope the circle-slashes play Reuben Smith, if only because I’d like to spend the two hours making jokes about how Reuben once worked at a restaurant where he toiled for weeks unsuccessfully trying to come up with name for a sandwich featuring corned beef, sauerkraut, and thousand island dressing on toasted marble rye before flying off the handle and killing the sous chef.

Winner: Hmmm…give me The Reubens by a goal with a side of curly fries.

Latvia vs. Slovakia

Dinamo Riga vs. The Marians.

Methinks Halak bounces back nicely in this one.

Winner: Halak-Slovakia

Side note: Could anyone have predicted that the goalie the Avalanche would be trucking to the Olympics would be Peter Budaj? Anyone?

Germany vs. Belarus

I’m going to have to go with Belarus on this one. If only because it wouldn’t be the Winter Olympics if some guy named Vitali wasn’t able to hold his head up high before he is shipped back to run a forklift at the mink factory.

Winner: One of the Belarusian goalies.

Sunday, February 21

Russia vs. Czech Republic

Vokoun shall enjoy making many stoppings but in end Ovechkin and Semin will dance upon his bloated carcass like drunken postmen. High five!

Winner: Nabokov-Russia

Canada vs. USA

I want an upset. Oh god I want an upset! This game has to be close going into the third for the Americans to have any chance. Miller has to be poppin’ and lockin’ like it’s 1985. Please God. Please!

Winner if life were fair: Miller-USA

Sweden vs. Finland

I’ve been to Finland. I’ve been to Sweden. They get along only because they kind of, sort of have to. Kind of like how Minnesotans and Wisconsinites tolerate each other at family reunions because it’s for the greater good and nobody wants to make a scene. They’re strange folks, them. Having a rivalry game of this magnitude in the preliminary round is a bit of a travesty doncha think?

Winner: Give me Sweden and a shot of Finlandia measured out by a sexy bartender in an extremely tight sweater.

Okay, that’s all for now. I’ll be back after the prelims to drop more knowledge and gloss over any substandard predictions in the most arrogant fashion possible.

Let’s get it on!