Because Sometimes You Get A Job

Okay, I admit it, I suck.

Having posted only one single rant wherein I held aloft the accomplishments the mighty Patrick Roy during calendar year 2009 I must hang my head lower than the vaunted Red Wings after they choked away the Stanley Cup.

I feel shame.

There are excuses. Oh yes, there are excuses!

Perhaps the best and worst thing ever to happen in the history of communication has been the advent of the good ol web log. It has allowed many a downtrodden or bored individual to throw up opinions for all the world to see in a public format. This can be good if you are an Avalanche fan (see the playoffs of 2008) and also bad...if you are an Avalanche fan (see the season from hell of 2009).

When I started hammering out these DNP's in 2007 I was in the middle of a quandary of Chaucerian proportions. Simply, it was the best of times, and the worst of times.

I was one of the first people laid off in what has become a very long year and a half for the rest of America. See, I work in architecture (General Contractors please arm your nail guns) and towards the end of the Bush era I think we all know what happened to the construction market. Kaputsky.

Strangely enough my unemployment at the beginning of last year led to me knocking out daily Dog and Ponies for the masses which in a short span of time gained me some notoriety (I think IWOCPO and his gang of idiots over at Kukla's Korner is still trying to find me so they can try and break my knees). I even got published in the Great Book of Denver Sports Lists by Irv Brown and Joe Williams, for which I was paid in nothing but honor. But in that case honor was more than enough.

Therein lay the crux of the problem. Writing gigs don't pay in money.

Flummoxed, and running out of government funding I signed on with a large firm in Phoenix (they have an iced hockey teem), and proceeded to work my living ass off for the entirely of the last calendar year. Much like my beloved Avalanche I was frequently beaten about the head and neck by stingy clientèle, and shortly after my mighty relocation *poof* no more Dog and Ponies for my hockey starved friends.

Bottom line, steady employment ruined by writing career.

All apologies gang.

LET IT BE KNOWN I still do pay attention to the sport of GOD and fully plan on righting this ship. Much like the Avalanche I am hard at work "cleaning house" so to speak, and fully intend to participate in the glorious art of writing for free so that you MY READERS have something to do when you aren't secretly burning discs of your work in your cubicles for use in future interviews.

A couple of quick comments from the last few months:

- Joe Sacco?!

Okay, so Patty Roy didn't want the gig. Fair enough. But could Lacroix have selected someone who has a name that won't completely confuse everyone?

In previous years I got the idea that Pierre always had something up his sleeve. This time around I'm convinced that he is fully intending on tanking the next four years of hockey in Denver.

Certainly Sacco did a good job working out the kids in the minors, but I can't help but get the idea that working as head coach for Pierre Lacroix must be worse than working for Donald Trump, i.e. piss off Pierre and you will never be allowed back in the building.

Bob Hartley isn't up to anything, and Marc Crawford got snapped up by Dallas...and these guys weren't on speed dial once Roy turned down the job? BOTH former Stanley Cup winning coaches weren't considered? Seriously, who did Bob Harley ever hurt? Did he crap in Lacroix's desk on the way out? I don't get it.

-Sidney Crosby didn't shake my hand fast enough and it made me feel poopy.

I find it amazing that all Chris Draper and Nik Lidstrom could do after CHOKING away a Stanley Cup was bitch about Sid the Kid not making it to the post-game lineup fast enough...because he was being interviewed. And then every Detroit fan on the planet spent the next week of their lives whining about it. Really? Weren't the Wings THE CLASS of the NHL? It is whining. It is lame. Stop acting like children. Red. Wings. Suck.

-Deader and Steve. Welcome back.

Even though Adam Deadmarsh and Steve Konowalchuk aren't playing we should all be happy that the Avs have two more leaders back in the or-gan-eye-zation who can help bring the club back to prominence.

-Now that the Avs certifiably suck does this mean Ryan Smyth is due for a career year?

(Someone had to point this out. For whatever reason Smitty thrives when he is THE guy)

-Will Wojtek ever be good?

Ummm...did you catch him in the shootouts last season? I say if he shows up to camp with some more body fat he may just have a (don't take this the wrong way) Todd Bertuzzi-like coming out party. Everyone forgets this but Bertuzzi wasn't Bertuzzi (pre-murderous rampage) until he was in the league for a few years and he grew into his body. I'm not sayin'...I'm just sayin'...

-Finally, Paul Stastny. Next great center of the Avalanche, or next great second line center?

Pay attention people, this next season will be crucial in Stastny's development. Can he stay healthy? Can he take over games? Again, this next season is HUGE for number 26.

That's all for now gang. It's good to be back from the woods.