Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
So what to write after what seemed like the longest offseason in the history of the Avalanche?
No Cup. No electrifying new players. Nothing but the lingering effects of being unceremoniously dumped in the second round by a juggernaut. Hooray. I've gone through five versions of what is supposed to be my grand 2008-2009 version of the DNP and I keep returning to one conclusion: I'm not excited at all by this year's edition of the Colorado Avalanche.
What is there to cheer for outside of an encore performance by Captain Joe?
Let's ring off the Avs hot summer signings!
-Darcy Tucker. Really? The last time I checked it took Mats Sundin in his prime to lift Tucker to a level where many hockey fans genuinely dislike him. Was keeping Andrew Brunette around going to be that difficult?
-Andrew Raycroft. Okay? Should the Avs coaching staff be preparing to scout around for another goalie if Jeff Hackett coaches the former Calder winner back into form, and he leaves for more money? Or is he going to simply end up as the backup to a guy who should be a backup- Peter Budaj?
Or should they just play Jeff Hackett? Hmm...
-Per Ledin. Do you apply this before or after swimming and does it leave any unsightly discoloration?
Recently Chris Stewart was cut from the squad. I seem to remember campaigning for him amongst friends last season, only to be baffled once again by his inability to make it through a training camp. Stewart is in his early 20's so there is still hope, but really, shouldn't a guy chosen in the first round have enough talent to at least scrape his way onto the 4th line?
Joe is a year older.
Hejduk is always sore.
Svatos is half robot.
Wolski is well...Wolski.
This is why every time I try and talk about the Avalanche I end up disgusted and wanting to walk down the street slapping people like Bernie Mac in "Head of State"! I don't want another season of hoping Ryan Smyth can knock out 55 games.
Maybe T.J. Hensick will rise up and stun hockey...and maybe he'll find a way to eat himself heavier than 93 pounds...
There are rebuilding years, which happen out of nowhere because of bad circumstances. There are rebuilding years which are somewhat predictable because change is necessary.
And then there are the Avalanche this and last season, who were and will seem to be the only team simultaneously rebuilding while trying to win the Cup. It is an ambitious, bipolar policy which will continue even after Peter Forsberg laces 'em up around mid-December, gets injured in practice, and kills 4 million dollars in cap room while nailing down 17 games on the season.
For me that doesn't promise much excitement at all...
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.