Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Season Opens Tonight on Versus!

Your Colorado Avalanche open the season tonight on Versus against the Boston Bruins for what should be an exciting start to the season for two teams which are already struggling to make the playoffs.

The Avalanche feature a (finally) healthy team led by the returning Joe Sakic, who apparently figured out over the summer that he wouldn't know what to do for eight months of the year without hockey. (Denny's gets pretty boring if you try and hang out there for longer than two hours. They won't even keep filling your coffee if they figure out that you have nothing else to do. It's soooo totally lame!)

Captain Joe needs a mere 28 assists to pass Mario Lemieux on the all-time assists list. Say that five times fast...assist list...assist list...

On the other bench will sit the Boston Bruins, who have plenty of time to pay attention to hockey now that it is clear the Patriots stink (yes!). Terry O'Reilly retired years ago so the Bruins will look elsewhere for a man willing to fight the newly minted antagonization combo of Darcy Tucker and Ian Laperierre.

Zdeno Chara is about seven feet tall on skates, and for some reason opposing players have yet to figure out how to trip him out of the rink. But you know it could happen, that's why we watch.

I'll roll out my commentary after the game, since I lack the ability to type fast enough to keep up with the fastest game on Earth. So join me then as I explore new ways to make fun of our favorite sport.

The Colorado Avalanche tonight on Versus- They show hockey there. No really.

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