Monday, November 3, 2008

Mailbag day!

Well sportorinos after a bit of a layoff I thought I’d throw out the first mailbag of the new season. As always the bitterness runs deep. Keep in mind, we are now a solid eight years removed from the last Avalanche title. Eight years! Crikey. That’s a long time. I feel your angst. Actually I don’t just feel it, I’m a walking angst machine!

-Talk to me D. How do the Avs win a title this season? Simple. They don’t.


Well Brad, the only way the Avs win a title is if somehow they land an absolute ringer in net (of course I’m writing this as Johnny Toewes is lighting up Budaj like a roman candle). There are believers in the Avalanche goalies, but when it comes to goaltending I’m a realist. There just aren’t that many goalies capable of carrying a team to a Cup these days, and the Avs have not one, but TWO backup goalies.

I think there are only three goalies who could get hot enough, and have the talent to bring their respective squads to the promised land: Henrik Lundqvist, Martin Brodeur, and Roberto Luongo.

These days it is all about the defense in front of a goalie. This is how Chris Osgood (of all people) is considered Hall of Fame worthy. Just the mere thought of the man making the HOF makes me nauseous. If he was worthy then why were the Wings constantly searching for a goalie in their down years? I guarantee if Dom Hasek was A) ten years younger and B) sane, the Wings would take him in a second.

Unfortunately there just aren’t many goalies available who can play at a level necessary to even carry their team past the second round. Nik Khabibulin seems to come up in conversation a lot these days. If, and I mean IF the Avs get Khabibulin, I’m not sure if they have a defense that is stout enough to keep the man in net long enough for him to even get hot.

D’Albass, you know the Avs suck. And everyone knows you suck. In fact you suck so hard you could not only clean off a chrome trailer hitch, you could then sell your lungs for scrap metal afterwards.


Thanks Mike. I missed Mike. I’m sure it was a long summer for him…what with all that looking for work outside of the methadone clinic.

Who wins the Northwest? Not the Avs, right? They score a lot, but that’s about it.


Alright, I’m laying it down. Somehow. Some way. The Avalanche will find a way to win the Northwest. How do I know this? Simple. The Avalanche since their inception, have always found a way to be just competitive enough that they don’t get decent draft picks. They either score players in the later rounds (Drury, Hejduk, even Stastny in the 2nd round AFTER Ryan Stoa) or they trade for them. One way or another they absolutely refuse to suck hard enough to build a solid franchise through the draft. This is a given.

Chris Stewart, are you listening?

Now that the Coyotes are good you are a fan. You know you are a fan. Loser.


Yeah that’s it. I’m a Yotes fan now. I go all the way to the desert to find work and fall in love with the hockey team. Seriously. No I mean really…I LOVE driving 30 miles to an arena that looks like a condominium complex on the outside to sit with people who have migrated from Detroit and watch a young, spritied team coached by the greatest hockey player of all time. Why you ask? Irony. Yep. I’m a white guy. Can’t get enough of ironic things like watching a team playing ice hockey in the middle of the largest desert in North America, all while wondering if what I’m doing is actually ironic. Oh the irony…ya know what would be really ironic? If after saying that the Avs beat the Yotes in the playoffs. Why, because then I’d have absolutely no idea what irony was or could be at that point.

And with that in mind I just watched Joel Quenneville smack his former team and former assistant Coach as the new head of the Blackhawks.

Revenge anyone?

No comments: