Game One Was No Fun. That Rhymed.

At the conclusion of tonight’s tilt against Calgary I felt that this series could maybe, somehow, go the Avs’ way. And then Mike Smith sent a tape to tape pass to Matthew Tkachuk for an empty net goal. 

I want to feel like the Avalanche are in this series. Against the Flames the Avs came out running and dominated the first period. Mikko Rantanen looked good. Samuel Girard was feisty. Eric Johnson looked stout. And then attrition set in. 

Calgary has all but owned the Avalanche in their matchups this year. The Avalanche have held leads only to watch them evaporate. This time they never even had the chance. Mike Smith’s glove would not allow it. 

There is still hope. The Avs have plenty of chances; I doubt Smith can stand on his head forever. But this team needs to stand tall for all three periods to avoid playing catch up. 

Five Thoughts

1. Why does Matthew Tkachuk make me hate him?! 

There are few players in my life who I have admired more than Keith Tkachuk. His name is the sound of hockey.  Along with John LeClair and Jeremy Roenick, Tkachuk set the standard for cocky, brash, American power forward hockey players. These fighter pilots were a band of pricks that stood up against the Canadians. They were our douchebags, and I loved them—even when Roenick was busy getting shut down by Patrick Roy and John LeClair was Legion of Doom-ing around Philadelphia. 

Now along come the Tkachuk brothers, led by Matthew, and I have no doubt they will both have long careers scoring in tight spaces while punching as many throats as they can handle. That Calgary gets to enjoy Matthew’s services infuriates me and I can’t stop watching. He’s my spirit animal. 

2. Mike Smith has the dumbest goalie mask in the history of the game. 

Let me get this straight. At some point the decision was made to create a goalie mask in Jofa red-brown and then paint ears on it. Is it an homage? Is it a joke? Is Smith saving up for something better?

Something tells me it was created in earnest. That thing was designed and then held aloft before god and country for all to see! It looks like a beer league mask from the 80’s. But not the nostalgia inducing parts of the 80’s, the parts when your parents couldn’t afford a black helmet for midgets and instead borrowed a helmet from your weird cousin. 

And then painted ears on it. 

3. From the Peter McNabb files:

(Paraphrasing his observation after a Jared Bednar bench interview early in the first period): 

“That is what is great about Coach Bednar. He listened to the question and he answered the question. Those are just great coaching skills. What more can you ask?”

Nothing. I ask for nothing more. He behaved as a human should after being asked a question by another human. Perhaps he could teach that skill to other humans? Your observation was spot on Peter. Have a lollypop. 

4. So Patrick Nemeth showed up for the playoff game today. I forgot to mention him on my previous post but that’s the point. He’s a good, hard nosed, defensive player and his poke check on a charging Tkachuk in the first period was what the Avalanche need more of if they are going to stand a chance the rest of this series. It’s time to get punchy and mean!

5. The bright side of this loss today was that the Avalanche will remain in the same time zone as Denver when they play their next game of hockey. That’s it. That’s the bright spot. 

Bonus:

Mark Rycroft wore a blue checked suit with a hot pink tie and pocket square. In fact two of three of the Avalanche desk guys wore some kind of checked ensemble. I think Denver may want to ease up a little bit. Maybe take a step back, have some coffee, sober up a bit, and reflect on how they got here. I’m kind of worried for my city. 

Next up: Game two in the land where the cowboys say “eh”. 

So It Begins!

Hola Avarinos! It’s playoff time! Welcome to the Dog and Pony Show! 

This sentence was intended to be the first sentence of this article, but this blog is rigged so it fell to fourth overall. 

Earlier today I wondered what 30 year old me would have thought about 43 year old me showing up at the beginning of the playoffs after not writing during a long and arduous regular season that culminated in a Game 81 wild card clinching Avalanche victory. Without hesitation I responded that 30 year old me would have drilled current me straight in the nuts. Just a solid steel toe right to the baby makers. 

“There’s no excuse for this, D’Albey!” I proclaimed. “Like old Jack Burton always says, you might as well play hockey in a tie.” 

——

Sooo....what has changed since the Avs exposed Nashville for the suckers they were last year? Well, I have a daughter now who I’m already training to be a two-fisted, take no prisoners goaltender. At the moment she’s sitting in the fridge punching a chicken carcass like she’s Rocky. She’ll be up with me at 5am Saudi Arabia time to drink a raw egg and watch the Avs shock the Flames. I won’t need to set an alarm, Amelia is the alarm!

But enough about my terminator. 

Let’s get to those Five Thoughts!

1. I will never tire of the “Injured Hero Returns Just In Time” narrative in the NHL because it is always shocking and invigorating. What’s that? Mikko Rantanen has returned from his sucking chest wound, (sorry, “upper body injury”), just in time to pepper the Calgary goaltenders with Finnish insults? Well then, sir, I doff my cap. 

Perkele!

If the Avalanche are to have a chance in this series they will need to get goaltending and score in bunches. Whatever brought Mikko down just in time for his absence to torpedo my fantasy team will need to take a hiatus. 

2. Speaking of torpedoing my fantasies... Jack Hughes or Kaapo Kakko would have been fun times on a feisty Avs second line for the next ten years, huh? I guess now we’ll just get to hope that one of the seventeen prospects that Joe Sakic throws a dart at at the draft pans out.  Is anyone else tired of reading “yeah, but they are a playoff team with a top-four pick”? That’s not the point! 

The Penguins tanked their way to a dynasty. The Oilers couldn’t build a ham sandwich and they still landed Connor McDavid and three other number one picks in six years. The Avalanche are still recovering from the worst season in modern history two years ago and what do they get? Oh, right, Red Wings fans pointing out that the Avs have had a bunch of first round picks over the last ten years. Great, go back to the 10th hole, Detroit. 

The talent is too watered down across too many teams these days. To succeed teams need generational or difference-making talent in several positions. That means landing number one picks and/or getting preternaturally smart at scouting. I think I can be forgiven for being apprehensive about Sakic’s ability to scout out and assemble a championship team, even if the Avs are in the playoffs this year. 

Don’t believe me? Ask Tampa and Steve Yzerman. 

Unless the Avs get lucky, I’m going to be bitter about this draft for a while. Here’s hoping they land a keeper. 

3. It isn’t a secret that the Avs have about four and a half people on the team who know where the opposition net is, but it shouldn’t take Jared Bednar tacking together a super line to get the puck past the opponent. 

Kerfoot, Compher, Soderberg, Brassard, Andrighetto, and Jost. Somebody has to do something for the Avs offense or this will be a short series featuring Matthew Tkachuk punching Avs defensemen in slow motion while Johnny Gaudreau hits on their moms. 

4. Hockey News readers already know this, but Elliott’s Friedman mentioned that there is an outside chance for Cale Makar to join the Avs blue line after the Frozen Four. It would be a crazy baptism, but I think it would be a fine introduction for the next Avalanche Norris Trophy winner. If there was ever a time to cheer extra hard for the University of Denver to beat UMass that time is now. 

Few things give me comfort like the thought of Makar sending Rob Blake-like outlet passes to sprinting Avs forwards.

5. When all things are considered, for the Avalanche to win what some are predicting will be a shootout (the silly media thinks the Avs have more than one line), Philipp Grubauer needs to continue his momentum from the stretch run. There is no other way around it. The Avs defense basically involves Eric Johnson and Nikita Zadorov hitting people in between trips to injured reserve. The Landeskog-MacKinnon-Rantanen line got figured out by the league two months ago. And for the love of god I can’t name a single difference making Avalanche grinder who can put in a fluttering Tyson Barrie rebound on a consistent basis. Where is the Shjon Podein on this team? Where is the Mike Ricci? 

If we see a single minute of Semyon Varlamov the fun will be over. You know it. I know it. Amelia knows it. But there is hope. 

If Grubauer stays hot. If Kerfoot summons his inner Hinote. If MacKinnon finds room. If Girard and Brassard can make some moves. If Johnson and Barrie can contain and maintain. Then our boys will shock the world. 

Fingers crossed. Jerseys on. Beards are go!

Avalanche!