So what I’m thinking is that of all species that can swim, humans are the best swimmers. I know what you’re thinking. “But what about the platypus?” Stay with with me here. Platypuses at least have bills. Humans do not.
We weren’t made for swimming with our floppy limbs and lack of blowholes. Dolphins: swimmers. Other fish, also swimmers. People? Not really. However, we can swim at least four different ways. We can freestyle, breast stroke, backstroke, and butterfly. We can also swim sideways, which is useful when reaching for a drink. Take that, manta rays.
We’re the best at swimming.
Deal with it, Nature.
—->
By the time Sam Bennett was ejected for looking like a midwestern plumber, the Avalanche had made the statement of the series: We’re better than Calgary and we’re not going anywhere.
With dominating waves of offense, the Avalanche overwhelmed an overmatched and undisciplined Calgary squad in Denver. At the end of the first period the Avalanche were on the board with 22 shots, three of which landed on the scoreboard, and they never looked back.
Forget this series. Three games in and I’ve seen enough. Calgary is being dominated. Barring a David Rittich replacement goalie miracle this series is over. Mike Smith is deflated and done.
Five Thoughts
1. Hot Dog...The Hockey
Since the reuniting of the MacKinnon line, the Avalanche have done a complete 180 from game one. They are driving the play, passing sharper, and outworking Calgary on every shift. Every man, all four lines. The Calgary defense doesn’t have a chance when they have to devote so many resources to fighting the scourge of the Avalanche’s top line.
Remember when Bob Hartley would reunite Joe Sakic and Peter Forsberg for five or six shifts and everyone would lose their minds? The Avs have been doing that for basically two years.
It’s like the Chinese Downhill:
action packed and packin’ action!
2. Cale Makar is better than Bobby Orr.
The list of greatest defensemen ever is:
1.Cale Makar
2.Cale Makar’s future son
.
.
.
264. Bobby Orr
End of list.
3. No, but seriously.
What do you do if you are Cale Makar’s parents?
Your kid is right off a crushing defeat in the national title game and then he steps on the ice in Colorado and scores on his first shot in the playoffs against your hometown team.
What do you do? Take him out for ice cream and then ground him? Make him clean out the garage and then buy him a trampoline?
Asking for a friend.
4. Mikey will not!
Is this the last time we see Mike Smith? Like, ever? I can’t understand why he was left in after the fourth goal. The game had devolved to beer league levels by that point.
In my life I have been dissuaded from many wrong notions and myths such as the full moon causes male pattern baldness and women don’t poop. Over the last two games I have been dissuaded from my belief that Mike Smith was actually a great goalie who just happened to be six-foot-four. No dice, amigos.
5. Who is Matt Nieto?
Not really, I know who he is, but really? I had asked in a previous Dog and Pony Show who this year’s Mike Keene or Shjon Podein would for the Avalanche. Well, ask and I shall get...a guy who, before this series, hadn’t scored since December 6th in Florida? Matt Nieto scoring a goal is like Matt Calvert scoring a goal with Gabriel Bourque’s stick! Amirite?! Oh, fourth liner jokes are just the best.
—->
Next up: Calgary puts up a fight and things get nasty but they are unable to win custody of Cale Makar, the greatest defenseman ever.
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